Friday, July 31, 2009


Denial does not change facts. It simply prolongs the acknowledgement of truths. This is my admission or perhaps, submission of sorts. This post has been a week in the works. It has been brewing in my mind, eating at the very core of my brain. I kept making myself excuses as to why I could delay it. The time has come.
My Life Coach* laid out a challenge for me regarding my photography. I told her about a session I booked with people that I didn't know; strangers of a virtual kind. I was nervous and Coach picked up on it immediately. She called my bluff and my pathetic attempt to fake confidence. She pushed me to work through what was making me squeamish. She lighted the path that I was walking alone. Coach's challenge was to pick one of the images I captured at the session and list five things that I rocked at. I agreed this would be challenging but doable. So many times after entering into this challenge my demons tried to talk me out of it. Coach won't know. yes she will. she said she's watching. You could come up with some reason that you couldn't do it. i'm a lot of things but liar isn't one of them. Be busy with something else. I want to be busy with what is important to me and this is. Are you sure you took one image that is good enough to write about? of course I am...Of Course, I AM. Are you really living this or are you just playing dress up? This is me. These are my wants. I will not break. This is who I am.
Fast forwarding a bit, this challenge now existed and the session had not happened. I knew there had to be someone on the other side of a screen typing at another keyboard as our emails went back and forth arranging details. I didn't see faces. I didn't know their voices. I knew only their names and when and where we were meeting. I knew what I could offer. I knew I had something to share with them. I knew they trusted me enough to take a chance on me.
I was in control of my self-inflicted lack of confidence. The only way for me to overcome my fear was to kick it in the ass. Since the demons didn't seem to want to turn their backs on me, I took mine and jumped off the proverbial cliff. Two feet together. Arms stretched way up to the sky. I dared my demons to follow. I told them to try it. They would not win.
What the world saw happening was me showing up at the spot early and walking around. I looked for pretty things, natural things, light things, different things, new things, and on and on. What I was really looking for was some mystical wizard to pop up and magically transform everything. The demons seemed to have jumped. They lingered in the shadows. About 10 minutes before the meeting time, the demons burst through my palms. Sweat started beading and I was getting jittery. What had I gone and gotten myself into - on so many different levels? Then, FutureSelf Me** stepped up. She screamed at the demons. She took control of me. She pushed me forward. Reminded me that I could do this, that I was worth the risk.
They drove up; these people that didn't know me either. It was happening. It was real. I could not run and I could not hide. I blinked and it was over. I knew the treasures I held. I was accomplishing my goal. They were awaiting a glimpse through my eyes of their beauty. They left with my promise of a speedy delivery. I walked away yearning for more, ready to complete Coach's challenge.

Without further ado, here is what I saw through my lens:

  1. Innocence kisses her cheeks with perfection.
  2. Her eyes gaze at a world, eager to taste, yearning to learn.
  3. She is curious and cautious equally.
  4. The wind played with her curls and laid them just so to add flavour.
  5. The black and white removes the distractions that colour can sometimes add.

  1. Here I present you with a Gypsy Princess in a Secret Garden.
  2. She listens to the stories the fairies whisper in her ear. They call her to come along.
  3. She dances to the beat of her own drum or perhaps tiptoes along the strings of a harp.
  4. She soaks up the sun as though it will never set.
  5. She is beauty.
*Kathryn is an absolutely phenomenal Life Coach. Drop her a line and inquire about how she can help you get focused or moving forward again.
**Talk to Coach to find your future self, too.

Stones, Philosophers, Wizards and The Like.

I finished it - Harry Potter and the Philosepher's Stone, that is. It was delicious. It was so good that I no sooner finished the book that I finally was able to watch the movie and not cover my eyes at the scary parts.
There is a thrift store or garage sale with the rest of this series just waiting for me to encounter. I know it. Are you getting rid of them? If you are, do let me know.


Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
Read this book.
Read anything by this author.
Read everything by this author.

Recap: Mission - July did I do?

Paint the kitchen. It's half painted. The eye-sore purple is gone. I'm calling this a semi-success.
Read 10 books. I'm not sure if I got a full 10 in. I know that I came very close. Some read ones didn't even make the blog. At least I'm avidly reading again. That was the point of this one.
Scrapbook 4 layouts. Half way. Two. The other ones just aren't lining up. Creatively, I'm stalled. It will come. I know not to rush this.
Fish 4 times. Meatloaf said two outta three ain't bad. I say one in four is pretty good considering the crap weather.
Visit the cabin 2 times. YOU KNOW IT! Not only did I get out two times, I got out for a few days and nights. As a plus, we have another day trip planned. Ah...the sweet life.
Move the craft stuff back to the craft station. (Oops!) I have. It also seems that other inhabitants of my household seem to be trying to overtake my craft station. Be Gone You Fools!
Start the Christmas planning. Started the planning and the shopping. KaCHOW.
Drop off clothing that needs to move along. Flunk. Flunk. and another flunk. Soon. I have to.
Think about my course strategy. I've conjured up a few ideas.
Get back on the photo taking train. Have I ever!

Off to August we go. You are going to be a big month. I can feel it.

Let's Play #135

1. It's time for __some solid rest___.
2. ___Home__; it's not a bad place for __some adventure___.
3. I must be __out of my mind. You do not want to know!___
4. __My sister's unconditional love___ is the best thing I have ever known.
5. My __kids___ are simply __incredible___.
6. The last time I laughed really loudly was __when my sister almost peed her pants watching the M&M commercial...Guest list! NO - Menu___.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __sleeping dogs___, tomorrow my plans include __sunshine and house cleaning___ and Sunday, I want to __rip up the highway to the lake___!

Play, too!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Oh, Ms. Rowling,

I believe it has begun. I am enamoured in the first few pages of your brilliant Potter Boy series. I shan't be rushing to devour the stories but rather will sip them slowly like a nice Merlot. Perhaps I will read while doing just so.
I feel an adventure arising.
Signed, Kristina

Let's Play #134.

I know you want to play, too.

1. __This___ is not the end of the world.

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I __feel a cleansing in my soul___.

3. __Lasagna___ tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is __is exactly what we need to do to give a piece of ourselves to this world___.

5. __The relationship I have with my sister___ is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is __more to life after all___.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __chillin'___, tomorrow my plans include __packing___ and Sunday, I want to __skip town for a while___!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Book Worm.

Sometimes I click so many links I can't remember where I started or what virtual road led me there. This is one of those things that I've come awesome blog for a bookworm like me.

Which do you prefer? (Quick answers–we’ll do more detail at some later date)
Reading something frivolous? Or something serious? This summer, both in moderation.
Paperbacks? Or hardcovers? Paperbacks ALL THE WAY, though I have a number of hardcovers.
Fiction? Or Nonfiction? Fiction.
Poetry? Or Prose? Prose.
Biographies? Or Autobiographies? Biographies. I like hearing how others see things.
History? Or Historical Fiction? Historical Fiction.
Series? Or Stand-alones? Hard one...a 60/40 for Stand-alones.
Classics? Or best-sellers? Best-sellers.
Lurid, fruity prose? Or straight-forward, basic prose? Straight-forward.
Plots? Or Stream-of-Consciousness? I'll try some of column A. Try all of column B. (Lisa, name that movie!!)
Long books? Or Short? Shortish.
Illustrated? Or Non-illustrated? Non-illustrated.
Borrowed? Or Owned? Owned.
New? Or Used? Either, providing a used condition meets my standards.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

100 Truths.

This is one of those Facebook crunks that is swirling around. Rather than do it there, I've taken it to my blog. These are bits of me, by me, and for me.
1. last drink: white zinfandel
2. last phone call: Nonna
3. last text message: Marcheta
4. last song you listened to: Monday, Monday
5. last time you cried: a few days ago
6. dated someone twice: yes
7. been cheated on: yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it: Not that I can remember
9. lost someone special: yes
10. been depressed: yes
11. been drunk and threw up: oh yes
12. teal blue
13. purple
14. black
15. Made a new friend: yes
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: yes
18. Met someone who changed you: absolutely
19. Found out who your true friends were: yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list: Yes
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: most of them
24. Do you have any pets?: a crazy cat and a divine dog
25. Do you want to change your name: No, I love my name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: pedi and some serious sister time
27. What time did you wake up today: 6:00
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading Tuesdays with Morrie
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: financial freedom!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Sunday
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I love my life.
32. What are you listening to right now: The thoughts in my head.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes I have. A few of them.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: people who pretend
35. Most visited webpage: google
37. Nicknames: Tina
38. Relationship Status: married
39. Zodiac sign: Taurus
40. He or She: hmmm....
41. Elementary: Collicutt
42. Middle School: Jefferson
43. High school/College: UofW
44. Hair color: Brown
45. Long or short: Short
46. Height: 5'8"
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: yes, i married him, too.
48. What do you like about yourself?: my confidence
49. Piercings: ears
50. Tattoos: you bet
51. Righty or lefty: Righty
52. First surgery: adenoid removal
53. First piercing: ears
54. First best friend: Janet
55. First sport you joined: soccer
56. First vacation: Italy
58. First pair of trainers: Nike's
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: cook dinner
62. Listening to: didn't this already come up?
63. Waiting for: I don't wait for much.
64. Want kids? I'd take some more
65. Get Married? I am.
66. Career? I have one, thanks.
67. Lips or eyes? Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses? Both
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both.
73: Sensitive or loud? sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: a bit of A and a bit of B
76. Kissed a stranger: define stranger
77. Gotten in a car crash: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: sunglasses
79. Sex on first date: no
80. Broken someone's heart: yes
81. Had your own heart broken: oh yes
82. Been arrested: not formally
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend: yes
86. Yourself: almost always
87. Miracles? yes I do
88. Love at first sight: sometimes
89. Heaven: without a doubt
90. Santa Claus: no
91. Kiss on the first date: sure
92. Angels: YES.
93. Had more than one gf at the same time? Never had a GF
94. What's your favorite food? Italian
95. Did you sing today? Yes...Down by the BAYYYYY, Where the watermelons GROOOOWW
96. Ever cheated on someone: No
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? i think i'd stay right where i am
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? The day Kamila was born.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: not at a;;
100. Posting this as 100 truths: well, there aren't quite 100 as some of the numbers were missing but sure.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Under My Skin.

I'm sustaining a moment where I feel weak.

I'm not perfect.
I will not pretend to be.
If there is one thing I know for sure it is that I do not know everything.
Don't make me an offer and when I take you up on it, withdraw.
Don't ignore me pretending you didn't offer.
Tell me straight.
I'll take it better.
I'll walk away thankful for your honesty, respecting you that much more.
Don't hide.
I know it bothers you, too.
Be straight.
Keep it simple.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I put it...

somewhere. I need to add it to the Done pile but can't quite recall where it became done. There are a few inconspicuous locations that I'm going to scan through today. Let's see what I find.
How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff was OK. It is Teen Literature about The Occupation. Perhaps I would have liked this one a little more if I hadn't have read this amazing book this summer. It isn't anything I'd rush out to get. I'm not sure I'd highly recommend it either.
Keep on keepin' on.

Half and Half.

The month is half done and then some. Where is it running to? Today includes some Mission Check. I'm slipping on a few. There may be a few surprises in store.
Let's see where we sail today, Saturday. Keep things simple and we're going to be just fine.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Let's Play #133.

C'mon! I know you want to play along.

1. __Something on the BBQ___ and __potatoes or salad___ make a quick and easy dinner.
2. __Tuesdays with Morrie___ is the book I'm reading right now.
3. July brings back memories of __you___
4. __Sincerity___ was obvious.
5. They say if you tell your dreams __you are opening yourself up to a whole new world___.
6. __Take time___ to think it over.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __whoa! the night is almost over. where has it gone?___, tomorrow my plans include __housework___ and Sunday, I want to __party___!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Down with Another.

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd is an absolute wonderful read. For the first time in a very long time, I am excited for the movie. I want to know that the two stories parallel. I want to know that the images in my head from reading can be transformed onto the screen seamlessly. I've watched the trailer and I can't wait to see it all!
My total pages read since June 20 is over 2100! That is awesome. I'm already into my next book. I'm fighting to get through it. I've set it aside a number of times already. I'll talk about it again some other day.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Let's Play #132.

Won't you play, too?

1. The last thing I ate was __a cherry strudel___ and __a gulp of nothing___.
2. ___Bananas__ is something I recently bought.
3. When it rains, it __is entertainment for my neighbors. In this evenings thunderstorm, I was the nut running around the neighbourhood chasing my recycling down!___
4. __Steven___ was the first person I talked to today.
5. Hugs are __extra important all the time___.
6. __Be greedy when you need___ extra comfort.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __hip hop Bailey bug visiting___, tomorrow my plans include __a blank page___ and Sunday, I want to __fly like an eagle___!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


One of my all-time favorite jokes is this one:
Why was 6 scared of 7?............................because 7 eight 9!
My hubby has heard this one so many times that he laughs because I'm such a geek that each time I say it, I think it gets funnier.
Today happens to be 7-8-9!
What are your favorite jokes? You know, the ones you pull out in utter desperation.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Books and More Books.

I'm reconnecting with my reading self again. It's been no secret around here that I love to read. I don't always do enough of it. This translates into me doing as much of it as I can when I can. My imagination is very vivid. Ask anyone that knows me or anyone who has listened to me rant about some description or other. There are bizarre ideas that swirl around in this mind of mine many of which are odd combinations or concoctions of various literature that has nourished me.
War of the Roses by Warren Adler and Notes from the Universe by Mike Dooley are in the DONE pile now. The both of them were cool books. Warren Adler's story of a rancid divorce and the psychosis that can surround them was hilarious. Much more appreciated in print than in film for me. He has also wrote a follow up titled The Children of the Roses. From the few reviews I skimmed, it's not looking like anything I'm going to rush out to get.
I have the other two books in Mike Dooley's Notes series although I'm resting on them for a while. Notes was deep. There were pages that made me dig down into my soul and think. There were also ones that had me paying attention to the little whisper in the shadows of me. It was an adventure.
In addition to these, I'm in the last few pages of The Barefoot Girl by Catherine Munroe. This one has been a one-day read for me. At first I wasn't sure about this book. Something about it made me want to read it but also made me want to leave it for some other day. I'm liking the story. It's about a peasant girl who is married away to a wealthy merchant. While her father believed he was marrying her up, the truth about what happens behind closed doors is supposed to stay there. She is but property purchased for a purpose. It's an interesting read.
For now, it's off to finish reading this book.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Mission: July

Here we go again.
  1. Paint the kitchen.
  2. Read 10 books.
  3. Scrapbook 4 layouts.
  4. Fish 4 times.
  5. Visit the cabin 2 times.
  6. Move the craft stuff back to the craft station. (Oops!)
  7. Start the Christmas planning.
  8. Drop off clothing that needs to move along.
  9. Think about my course strategy.
  10. Get back on the photo taking train.

That's all for now. Let's see how I do ...
Simple enough.

Let's Play #131.

You can play, too! Go here.

1. When I heard __the news___ I __picked my jaw up off the floor___.
2. __Positive thoughts and prayers make up the___ best medicine.
3. It's late, but __there is always time for one more kiss___
4. __Laugh often; Love___ always.
5. My eyes have seen __beauty___.
6. ___My heart beats__ strongly.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to ___my book__, tomorrow my plans include __a meeting with nice ladies___ and Sunday, I want to __hit the highway to the cabin___!

Gone Fishin'.

We spent yesterday afternoon on the banks of the river with our rods in the water and the fish dining on our bait. It turns out I don't give fish as much credit as they deserve. I used to think when they bite the bait, you (I) got to catch the fish. Done deal. Reel them them, Sparky. Turns out these fish have gotten smarter. The ones yesterday had a technique. Nibble once to taste. Nibble twice to get my attention. Nibble a third time to tease me. Bite the bait and swim like mad to get away. Smart little suckers. I am happy to say that I did catch one big enough that it will make a meal.
My grandfather is my fishing hero, though. He is pro. Hand that man a fishing rod and watch his patience level increase to the sky. He calmly perches in his seat, intensely staring at the tip of the rod, waiting for the game to start. Suddenly in a flurry of activity his rod would be up and reeling in. He caught the most. Three that came home. Three that stayed. There is no "one that got away" story from this trip.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Another one done.

Another book, that is. The Fiction Class by Susan Breen was good. It's one that I'm going to keep for reference. If you aren't a reader, this one might not be your thing. That's about all I have to say.
I've moved on. I'm combo reading this week. War of the Roses by Warren Adler and Notes from the Universe by Mike Dooley. I know one of these is a movie and I have seen it but very few movies are ever the same as the books*. So far, I'm enjoying both of these. I'm also hoping neither of these books has dying or dead people in them. The last four that I've read have left me a bit weirded out. Of the stack of 20 some books I want to read, there is a bizarre trend. They seem to have someone that dies, is dying, or is dead. My mother might attribute this to me being morbid but THIS IS NOT THE CASE! Many of these books were recommended to me or random bargain finds. There is just a weird thread pulled through most of them.

*Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews was identical in book and movie form. Perhaps one of my all-time favorites always!